THE ROSIE O'DONNELL SHOW (TV program - syndicated) with host Rosie O'Donnell     February 15, 1999
Here's Rosie's show. David looked wonderful, well-rested and relaxed. David's appearance lasted about 8 minutes. He was wearing dark grey dress pants and a dark blue long-sleeve collared shirt.
Rosie O'Donnell: Our first guest has won two Emmys for his role as the deliciously funny Niles on the hit show "Frasier". Last week was the funniest episode I've ever seen. Take a look.
(Shows clip starting from where Niles finds the loose thread on his pants cuff while ironing to his first faint.)
RO: Please welcome back to the show, the very funny David Hyde Pierce! (David enters, does a little dance on his way to greet Rosie. He brought along a autographed, boxed set of "A Bug's Life" toys for Rosie.)
RO: Hi David!
David Hyde Pierce: Hello Rosie.
RO: What did you bring there?
RO: Oh. Alrighty. Can I take your photo? Would you mind? If I took a little, lemme just...
(David smiles that cute little grin of his.)
RO: All right, thank you. Put these all up for charity, it's my new thing. How are you?
DHP: I'm good. I actually did, I brought you something. I heard, they told me that you auction stuff for eBay.
RO: That's right.
DHP: Which is like a, a pig-latin organization? I don't know what that is.
RO: No. eBay is an Internet site where you can go on and sell different items and we have a link there for charity.
DHP: Oh, oh, oh.
RO: So it's a charity thing, but you have to get to it through eBay.com.
DHP: Oh. See... (Trying to look and sound like he has a clue what she's talking about!)
RO: Are you computer illiterate?
DHP: Well... clearly.
RO: Yeah. (laughs)
DHP: I have no idea. Well, anyway, I brought you this. This is from "Bug's Life".
RO: Which I saw 14 times.
DHP: See. Good movie.
DHP: I'm a character in "A Bug's Life", uh, in fact... (turns package to show off Slim) that's me.
RO: That's you?
DHP: Here. (trying to get the right camera angle)
RO: And there's a strong resemblance...
DHP: Kind of looks like...
DHP: Where am I? There I am.
RO: There you are. There it is.
DHP: Tall and skinny, right here. (pointing out Slim)
RO: Uh huh.
DHP: So I signed that for you, and you'll get five, maybe six dollars for that.
RO: No, we'll probably get five hundred. (audience cheers) You'd be surprised. You know that, thank you very much for that David. We've been doing it for like, three weeks.
DHP: Uh huh.
RO: We've made about 240 grand so far.
DHP: Are you kidding?
RO: Can you believe that?
DHP: That's fantastic. Oh, you know what else I have to say. I saw, I don't know if anybody saw the Valentine’s Day episode Friday. (audience cheers)
RO: You enjoyed it?
DHP: I, they did this whole thing where you got this, this couple together for their fiftieth anniversary and surprised them with a party and all their friends. I was sitting in my living room weeping.
DHP: It was so beautiful. It was a really cool thing to do.
RO: Oh, that's very sweet of you to say.
DHP: Yeah, it was nice.
RO: It's funny, I would never imagine you sitting home watching daytime TV. I don't know why. I think you'd be reading a physics book or something.
DHP: In between.
RO: In between.
DHP: In between physics books I watch your show and weep. So uh...
RO: Right. Well thank you very much.
DHP: The other thing... Have you seen "Cabaret?
RO: I have.
DHP: Oh my God.
DHP: Saw it yesterday. It is the most unbelievable show.
RO: Now is Alan Cummings back in it?
DHP: Alan Cumming was in it. Everyone, Blair Brown and uh... um...
Jennifer Jason Leigh, everyone in it. It was just an amazing... Made me want to get back onstage. It was so...good.
RO: Exactly. It was so... have you seen anything else?
DHP: That was it. I just, I had, that was the only thing I had time to do. And eat a lot.
RO: What'd you have?
DHP: Went to two great restaurants. Jo-Jo's, know Jo-Jo's?
DHP: Yes. Like Ho-Jo's but different.
RO: Nooo! Do they have the clam-baked platter?
DHP: They didn't have the clam-baked platter. They have, you know thirty-one flavours of like, pate, I don't know. Ah, no, great restaurant. And then this French restaurant, Lutece. They're very Niles restaurants.
RO: Yes, yes.
DHP: But, uh...
RO: Do you find that you're similar to Niles at all?
DHP: Not in any way.
RO: Really? (laughs) Not at all?
DHP: You know I...
RO: Because people must assume you're very much like him.
DHP: I know. I am, it's, it's always upsetting to find out how much you're like the character. Cause you think... After a while I thought I was just becoming more like him because I've been playing it for a while. And then I realized that no, the truth is just gradually being revealed and it's that he's essentially me. I, I, found a film strip, like an 8-millimetre film, from when I was a little kid. And it was me playing football with my Dad in the backyard. (he laughs) And, oh, it's so upsetting. (audience laughs) My Dad, he would throw the football and it would hit me in the head. (audience laughs) Or, he would throw the football and I would, I would miss it. And then the most devastating part of all was the look on his face when I actually caught the football. (audience laughs) 'Cause he was like... (looks shocked, audience laughs)
RO: Totally perplexed.
DHP: Yeah, so I think I was born to be Niles.
RO: Yeah, Yeah. Fans go crazy. They must. They stop you. Do they...
DHP: They, they stop me. Also they stop me and uh, also they make me go. I was uh...
DHP: Well, let me explain. (audience laughs) Not an Imodium A-D kind of thing. RO: No. (audience laughs)
DHP: No. I went, (laughs) I went on vacation to France.
DHP: And one of the reasons I went, France is a nice place to go. But also, they don't have "Frasier" there. And you want a little, a little break. But what I forgot is, they don't have "Frasier", but they do have American high school girls.
RO: That's right, tourists.
DHP: Tourists, on tour. And I was, uh, touring a French castle. This big beautiful, beautiful chateau in the Loire Valley and there was a tour group of American high school girls. And I was trying to keep a low profile, but you start to, you know you're trained, you start to hear the murmurs and the things. And you feel terrible, because you think the focus should be on this amazing piece of French history.
DHP: And the woman is (in semi-French accent) "Here is the place in the very spot where the King of France... " and someone says "Are we ever going to see Maris?!". (audience laughs) So I just sort of, you know, eased my way out of the room. Well, once they knew I was there they started easing their way away from the tour guide and it became this progressively faster thing until finally these girls were chasing me, around, I felt like, you know...
DHP:... which I don't feel like a lot so that was kind of a nice feeling.
RO: Did you stop and give them autographs?
DHP: I, no, I just ran. (audience laughs) I just ran. The thing is with high school girls, you can't let them smell fear. (audience laughs)
RO: Right, exactly right. That's very big.
DHP: Very important. So I just kept going.
RO: Now I understand you're switching careers, you're going into the recording industry?
RO: They had this on my notes, I couldn't... You're gonna become a rapper?
DHP: Yes. I'm gonna become, yeah. Well, we all knew it was coming. (audience laughs) I, uh, I did, I was a presenter at the American Comedy Awards which we taped a few weeks ago and it's gonna be on, March 15th I think it is. And I had written this rap number and George Slaughter, the producer, who is like the Kenneth Starr of television producers. He, you know, he's just like, on you and on you and on you...
RO: Yes, he's relentless. Exactly.
DHP: ...begging me to do this. So I finally did it and uh, I had discovered when I was working out at my gym. Uh, I work out at this gym with these, these really mean guys who train me. And they uh, they had, they had been, I had been lifting weights and my arms were so sore that I couldn't move them.
DHP: It was like, you know, it was like stiff at the wrists, everything was in agony. And, they had me doing these squats, like this (demonstrates squats, arms held stiffly in front on him), and so my arms were stiff and I couldn't move them (moves stiff arms around like your typical rap singer, audience laughs).
DHP: And it was like...
DHP: ...and suddenly I realized, "Oh! There's a living in this! I could maybe make a career." And so... (audience cheers)
RO: And we have a sample?
DHP: You have a tape, I think there may be a clip, I don't know.
RO: We have a tape of David's first big rap
DHP: My first and probably last.
RO: Take a look.
(shows clip, lyrics printed below)
RO: Def Comedy Jam (audience cheers)
DHP: Actually, can I, just mention the guys because that show will be on and you'll see the whole number but they never get credited. This guy Ricky Minor did the band arrangement on that which was amazing, the whole band's offstage. And uh, Kevin Smith and Joe Scott were the rappers with me and they did a great job.
RO: And it's March 15th, the Comedy Awards. Also you know "Frasier" Must-See TV Thursday and George Clooney this Thursday, leaving the show. I thank you very much for being here. Delightful to see you as always.
HIT THE COUCH
Now here's a man I've been his shrink
for seventeen Yeahrs
We shared a lot of laughter
we shared a lot of tears
Now he says he's healthy
says his therapy is through
Says he's movin' on
well I've got a word for you
I say hey! hey! hey!
that's my word for him
I say hey! hey! hey!
listen to me Jim
I have got a mortgage
I got a wife who's like a refugee
from "Taming of the Shrew"
You may say you're healthy
no if's or and's or but's
But if you think you're getting out of here
well buddy, you're nuts
Hit the couch
come on, come on, come on
Hit the couch
come one come on, come on
Hit the couch
(This transcript is courtesy of Tané who transcribed the interview and Lana who has allowed me to post it on my website.)