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DHP on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno

THE TONIGHT SHOW (TV program - NBC) with host Jay Leno January 27, 2000

DHP was wearing brown pants, a grey v-neck sweater with a white T-shirt showing around the neck (it's the same one he wore in the UK special "My Favourite Frasier" back in January 1999), and a high buttoning 3-button tan blazer. To see screen captures of last night's Tonight Show, there are three sources to go to: (1) CN mailing list member Sailesh's webpage, (2) jennie's pics and video, and finally (3) videocaps from The David Hyde Page, courtesy of Laura.

Jay Leno: We have a terrific show tonight. My first guest, three time, THREE TIME, Emmy award winning actor. You know, ok, first time you are lucky, second time it's a fluke, three times, what can you say?
Kevin Eubanks: David's bad, man.
JL: The man's got the goods. Stars on the NBC hit show "Frasier." He's in a new movie with Bette Midler called "Isn't She Great." David Hyde Pierce! David Hyde Pierce

[commercial break]

JL: Alright, let's get right to it. My first guest, three time, three time Emmy winning actor which means you get to keep it. Three times and you get to keep it and take it home. Stars every Thursday night on the hugely popular show "Frasier." You can also see him in the new film, "Isn't She Great." It opens tomorrow in a theater near you. Please welcome David Hyde Pierce!

[The band plays "Tossed Salads and Scrambled Eggs" as DHP walks out, waves to Kevin, and hugs Jay. He then waved to the audience and does a little dance before sitting down and taking a sip from a cup.]

JL: Always a pleasure to see you.
David Hyde Pierce: Thank you, it's good to be back.
JL: Now you have some bad news you didn't want to tell me backstage?
DHP: Well, I do have some bad news. the world is ending.
JL: The world is ending?
DHP: Yeah. Everyone thought it was gonna happen, you know, at the New Year's for the Y2K, but it's not. It's happening in a few weeks. The dog on "Frasier" has written his autobiography.
JL: Really?
DHP: Yeah. It's called "My Life as a Dog." It comes out mid-February so I figure the world should end sometime early March.
JL: Oh, I see, I see, I see.
DHP: Yes, yes. It's unbelievable to me.
JL: Yes.
DHP: But, yeah, that they're publishing a book by the dog.
JL: Yeah.
DHP: I'm happy for it.
JL: Right, sure, sure.
DHP: And I'm sure, like if I spend all day laying around the set naked and having, you know, romantic interludes with the furniture, they'd want to write a book about me too. (AUDIENCE LAUGHS) But anyway, it's coming out and you must get it.
JL: Now, I... I will check that out! Now "Frasier" is doing terrific, isn't it?
DHP: We're doing real well.
JL: Yes.
DHP: Yes, yes. We're doing really well. We've, uh... Daphne and I... (TEASINGLY)
JL: Yeah, what's going on there? Now, it seems like there is a sexual tension... an electricity...
JL: Really?
DHP: Yes, yes. It's building, it's building. We're moving closer and closer to some sort of inter... section. (AUDIENCE LAUGHS) and uh...
JL: You know, there's really only one intersection you can go to.
DHP: That's where we're heading and uh... (LAUGHS) Uh... it's... they're not doing it all at once. They're gonna do it, like a little piece of the puzzle at a time. Like this coming week we get a... actually a fairly big piece.
JL: Yeah.
DHP: Not the... (UNDERNEATH HIS BREATH) piece I was hoping to get, but... (AUDIENCE LAUGHS)
JL: (LAUGHS) Right. Yeah, yeah.
DHP: But it's coming.
JL: Well, we're not cable.
DHP: No, that's right. (LAUGHS) We're not cable, but sometime in February or possibly May, I think, we're going to see...
JL: Oh, so the.. ?
DHP: Yes?
JL: You think it will coincide somehow with the sweeps then?
DHP: You know, miraculously... (AUDIENCE LAUGHS)
JL: Yeah, yeah.
DHP: It's a funny, funny thing...
JL: You'll comsummate, you'll consummate, you think?
DHP: I can't say what kind of soup we're gonna have, whether it's consummé or... (AUDIENCE LAUGHS)
JL: Really.
DHP: Or something else, but uh... yeah, we're heading that way.
JL: Now, do you ever watch... what's that show? Do you ever watch that show that's opposite you? That Millionaire Show? Do you ever watch? Boy, that's a good show, isn't it?
JL: You know, I enjoy... do you ever watch that thing? You feel the tension, the excitement of the people. Have you watched the program?
JL: Oh, you have?
DHP: I watched it once, NOT, by the way, on a Thursday night.
JL: Really?
DHP: ...which actually, you're right. The way that show is structured, the tention builds all week and I have found that if you don't watch on Thursday night, it's even more suspenseful. (AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND CLAPS)
JL: Really? Really?
DHP: Yeah, and you can watch perhaps something else that's on. No, I tell you, I have to admit that I don't, I don't get it. I watched it one time...
JL: Yeah.
DHP: ...and uh, the question was "Which of these instruments do you blow? (AUDIENCE LAUGHS) The piano, the guitar, the drums, or the flute? And uh, I just thought, I don't know about the instruments but something definitely blows here, so that was it. (AUDIENCE LAUGHS)
JL: Really?
DHP: That was it for me. I mean, I'm..
DHP: Well, I'm happy for Regis... no, no...
DHP: No, here's the thing, here's the thing.
DHP: Here's the thing... OH, ALRIGHT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT... (ACTS ANGRY)
JL: Ah, there it is.
DHP: Oh, God! No, you know what, we haven't lost viewers. It's like, just a whole lot of people who weren't watching television are now watching this show...
DHP: ...and I think, any thing that makes more Americans spend more of their time watching television, is a good thing.
JL: Now, what were these people watching before? People always say that... "You never lose viewers, we brought in new viewers from Anarctica." (AUDIENCE LAUGHS)
DHP: We gained, we're gaining a bathroom.
JL: (LAUGHS) People who didn't know about TV before...
DHP: ... are now watching that show.
JL: Passing by Circuit City, "Hey, what is that box with people in it..."
DHP: That's right and all the money. Alright, fine.
JL: Now, what are you doing with your free time now besides, not shaving.
DHP: I'm not telling you... I'm watching Millionaire. (AUDIENCE LAUGHS) No, I didn't shave... I'm off this week so I didn't shave.
JL: So you're off this week. First of all, hygiene is only something you do on a work day.
DHP: Yeah, yeah. It's actually... you can't tell from there but it's pretty bad.
DHP: Uh, I...
JL: What do you do for fun? You seem like such a serious young man.
DHP: I'll tell you. Well, I am.
JL: What's a good time to you?
DHP: Uh, thanks for the "young," by the way. I actually just took up roller blading.
JL: That's too young. (AUDIENCE LAUGHS)
DHP: No, you know, you would think... I got roller blades for Christmas and got the whole, the helmet and the elbow pads and the wrist things and knee pads so I was set and I... I taught myself to do it in my kitchen. (AUDIENCE LAUGHS)
JL: In your kitchen?
DHP: I did it in my kitchen and actually it was good. It's not a big kitchen, it has an island in the middle so you can go around and around and around. (AUDIENCE LAUGHS) You can grab on to the refrigerator, if you need to.
JL: Right.
JL: Yeah, just feel free to speak out anytime. (AUDIENCE LAUGHS)
DHP: That's right. Any other sports that I should be taking up while...?
JL: No, I want to know more, I want to know more about the...
DHP: Well, I learned in my kitchen and it was fine... you know, as a famous, famous, famous person, you don't want to be out there falling on your face...
JL: No.
DHP: No, on the boardwalk and everyone saying "Oh, look! It's David Hyde..." AHHHH!!! Boom! So... (AUDIENCE LAUGHS)
JL: Now, do you put the pads on every...
DHP: I had the pads on. I actually had a good time. I went out, I was in North Carolina visiting friends and I thought I'd only do it for a little while. Well, actually it was kind of addictive. I, I... couldn't stop.
JL: And you put all those different pads.
DHP: Yeah, and I couldn't stop.
JL: Really?
DHP: I mean, I literally "couldn't stop."
JL: You mean you couldn't stop...
DHP: There's a break on the thing that's supposed to work, but man, when you're going down hill... I don't know what it is about it, but you just... it's got a little thing on the back and yeah...
JL: Yeah, and you're supposed to touch...
DHP: Yeah, I think it was designed by the guy who did the road runner cartoons... (AUDIENCE LAUGHS) ...and you pick up any speed at all, you just touch that sucker and you, go (MAKES GESTURE AND NOISE OF FALLING BACKWARDS) Bamm! And they don't make ass pads. (AUDIENCE LAUGHS)
JL: Well, I think you have to have an ass first. (AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND CLAPS) Well, I didn't mean, I just...
JL: I rest my case.
DHP: I was just going to "rest my ass."
JL: Well, there you are.
DHP: (LAUGHS) Well... yeah.
JL: Oh, you were going to say something cruel.
DHP: No, I just wish you had been behind me when I fell. Umm... (AUDIENCE LAUGHS)
JL: Now, tell us about "Isn't She Great."
DHP: Oh, it's...
JL: Bette Midler, right?
DHP: It's me... it's an incredible cast. It's Bette Midler, John Cleese, Nathan Lane, me, Stockard Channing. It's a very funny movie. It's a biography of Jacqueline Susann who is a writer who some of you remember and some of you don't. But you don't know her. It's...
JL: What else is there? "Valley of the Dolls"...
DHP: She wrote "Valley of the Dolls" and trashy novels.
JL: Those were like, quite scandalous in the 60's... ooh...
DHP: They were. Very, very scandalous and I play a character whose the editor on "Valley of the Dolls" who hates all that stuff and thinks it's crap and garbage and trash whereas I, David, actually think it's crap and garbage and trash so... uh... in the picture, I'm forced to work with her and sort of, during the course of the movie, I end of kind of appreciating who she is cause she's...
JL: And she's quite flashy.
DHP: She's very flashy and very broad. She also had an amazingly difficult life. She had a terrible struggle with cancer and a lot of that comes out in the movie as well. So it's uh... it's an interesting film.
JL: Now, what is this scene we're gonna see? What happens here?
DHP: I think this is something about eating.
JL: Now, you play her book editor?
DHP: Yes, I'm editing... this is like, my first sort of meeting with them. I'm supposed to be working with them editing this book. Nathan plays her husband who is the manager and Bette plays Bette.
JL: Let's take a look.

[film clip from "Isn't She Great"]

Jacqueline Susann (BM): Look at you.
Michael Hastings (DHP): What?
JS: So, tell me, what do you call that thing you're wearing?
MH: It's a navy blue suit... from Brooks Brothers.
Irving Mansfield (NL): (FEELS THE SUIT) Brooks Brothers!
MH: It's an American classic.
JS: It's a shroud, it's a garment bag. I can't look. It's hurting my creative juices. I'm having a blockage. Irving, quick, give him your jacket.
IM: What?
MH: What?
JS: People are staring. They're saying, "What are Irving and Jackie doing with this stiff?" They think it's a tax audit. Honey, give me your jacket.
IM: Jackie.
JS: Please.
MH: I am absolutely NOT going to wear Irving's jacket!

Jackie and Michael stare at each other for a little while and the next scene shows Michael wearing Irving's lavender jacket.

[end of film clip]


JL: Folks, the film is called "Isn't She Great" and it opens tomorrow. David, thank you very much. Good luck with your roller blading.
DHP: Thank you... thank you very much.

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